Tuesday, March 30, 2010

It Does Not Fit

So, tonight I got a package in the mail with a bridesmaid dress for a wedding that I will be in in late May. I got measured for the dress over 6 months ago and ofcourse now the dress barely fits. Is it possible to take-out dresses? Can I order another one with only a few weeks until the wedding? This is a miserable situation.

I haven’t been doing well over the past week. I started last week off in high spirits after I began my blog, but then it wore off. I spent the weekend at home at my parents house, too embarrassed to be seen in public with my friends. My parents went out Saturday night with their friends and I stayed home with their dogs - yep, I am super awesome.

My parents told me that they are worried about me and they think that I am ruining my life. They are worried because I don’t do anything social anymore. I only go to work and go out to eat occasionally. If I don’t do something about this weight soon, it is only going to get worse. At first, I cried and was really upset with them... Don’t they get it?? This isn’t only about the weight. I have an eating disorder. I can’t just be thin and solve this problem with a quick diet. I’ve tried that before. Here I am again!

After thinking about it for a long time, I realized that my parents are right. While taking care of this eating disorder business, I also need to lose weight so that I am not afraid to be seen in public or feel too fat to step foot into a bar or party. I can’t live like this.

I want to start looking into some outpatient and inpatient programs. I need to handle this once and for all so that I can live a normal life!! I have done a tiny bit of research and most of the programs seem geared towards anorexics. I know being in a program with people that skinny would be too hard for me. Anyway, do you know of any outpatient or inpatient programs for binge-eaters? Leave me comments!!

My new goal is to write a little every day- I know it will be therapeutic. Can anyone recommend a good blogger iPhone app?



  1. I think you have just the right place for blogging. Blogs can be the best accountability partners. The thing about weight loss is that you have to be patient, honest, and consistent. The excitement wears off real fast because it is met by hardwork. You can do this. You have to make a decision every single day to take back control of your life. You can do this.

  2. I'm not sure where you are located, but the inpatient program I went (Rader Programs) accepted all eating disordered patients over 18. To be totally honest, including me, there were probably 3 or 4 anorexic/skinny people. The rest were average or over weight and suffered from bulimia (bingeing and then purging) and overeating. But I understand why it would be hard for you. I think it would be very hard to find an in/out patient program that was just geared towards overeating. Keep going to overeaters anonymous and your therapy in the mean time.