Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Still Smiling

Ok so here is the deal. I haven't been to therapy or the dietitian in weeks and I think that might be helping me. I was so tired of talking about this eating disorder over and over and over. So, I have been pushing it under the rug and trying my best to be happy. I know that is the number one goal. Happiness. I even WENT out on Saturday night!!! Ahh!! That is HUGE for me. There were def moments when I felt like a fat girl and guys hit on my other friends, but it felt good to be out again, to have a drink, and say "fuck you eating disorder-i am having FUN!" So, as you can see, things have turned around. I am scared to talk about it to friends and family bc I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to say I am doing okay and then have it all go the other way. Regardless, I am thinking that focusing on my life instead of just the eating disorder is the way to go! I am tired of wasting time talking about it. Enough already!

Victories:
-Haven't binged on takeout in over a week (since my move!)
-Have only binged a few times in the past week or two. Overeating, but one step at a time :)
-Went OUT with friends Saturday night and have been trying to be more social
-Have slept at my apartment since I moved in (1.5 weeks ago) and haven't slept at my parents house or called them hysterically crying
-I have been smiling and laughing
-I haven't been bogged down in depressing blog posts from others (no offense)!
-I made my bed almost every day since I moved in

So, yay for me! I hope this lasts. I really do plan to sit down and blog more soon.

How are all of you?

1 comment:

  1. Well, that's all good to hear !!! You're right when you say that focusing on the eating disorder brings you down. It's like dieting, when you keep thinking about dieting AAAALLLL day, that ends up being the LAST THING you do. Or you become a maniac about it, in an unhealthy way. I am one of those people who believe that you should indeed focus on other things, on things that make you smile. Do things that you love and enjoy. Bad days are bound to come but that's just life, eh ?

    Take care.
    ~kisses

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