I took ANOTHER sick day today. I know. It's really bad. I feel so guilty about it. I probably take one sick day every three weeks. I need to get out of this habit.
Anyway, the reason I took the sick day was that i felt like shit because I got no sleep again because of my loud neighbor. This was the third night in a row. I talked to the leasing office today so hopefully they can talk to this guy. I woke up, wrote an email to my boss, and then slept until noon. I did nothing all day. I overate, got lonely, and now I am sleeping at my parents house. I don't feel too depressed or anything, just tired of being alone... I'm frustrated with my job and still feel like my friends don't want to be there for me. I feel like they don't call me. I only see them when I make the effort. In reality, I am probably exaggerating this in my head, but I can't help it. It bothers me.
I had the urge to order Chinese again today (my go-to binge) but i didn't so that is positive.
I feel better after being here like I always do. Being with my mom gives me a boost.
Also, I cancelled my therapy appointment on Monday so I haven't seen my therapist in two weeks because of the holidays. I also haven't seen my dietitian in weeks. I'm okay with that for now though. I probably do have some things I should talk through, but it has been nice to take a break from all of the doctors. It gets exhausting.
Ok. I HAVE to go to work tomorrow. No excuses. At least I know my mom won't let me oversleep and i wont have a loud neighbor tonight.
Sorry for the rambling!
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I hope something is done about that neighbor. That really sucks that it gets to the point where you don't get any sleep.
ReplyDeleteWith your friends, I'm thinking that perhaps you haven't hung out with them in so long that they don't think you might want to ? So perhaps for a little bit you might have to show interest in talking, going out, etc. I don't know, I suppose. I just know that sometimes in life, you have to go after what you want. When you wait for people to do something, it won't necessarily happen because you don't know what might also be going on with them.
Anyway, I'm rambling too, sorry.
Try and make it to work tomorrow ! :)
It really sucks to have noisy neighbours!
ReplyDeleteI think Elle has a valid point, I used to do that, I still do, fret that friends don't really like me, feel obligated to call or spend time with me especially when I'm being really insular and argumentally defensive! Relax, breathe and dont read too much into things. I'm sure you're friends love you and are looking forward to hangIng out. :-)
It's a tough cycle to be in, but you are so right to give yourself credit where it's due. This overeating stuff is hard, and know that you are not at all alone.
ReplyDeleteYou should be able to feel safe & happy in your home. It shoould be your happy place. Neihbors who intrude, even with noise can suck the emotional willpower of abstinence right out of ya. Hang in there, turn to God. He can handle it & even looks foreward to it!
ReplyDeleteI abuse sick leave at my work also. I watch my pay check stubs closely, as soon as I accumulate 12 hrs I just can't help myself. Sick day!
Social anxieties, isolation, etc is a huge part of most compulsive eaters lives, but it doesn't have to be.....