I didn't fall asleep last night until 3:30am because my neighbor in my apartment was being really loud. So, I woke up exhausted. I packed a breakfast and a lunch so that was positive. I got to work and found out that some of my coworkers are leaving the company. Everything seems like it is changing really fast in my work world. By lunch time, I was sick of being at work. It was so hard to be back and I couldn't stop yawning. So, after I ate my lunch, I went to work from home for the afternoon. That didn't go well. I kept falling asleep but was able to wake myself up to check my work email every now and then. It was pretty unproductive. So, now I am worried that I am not going to be able to sleep tonight again because the napping. Oh no. That would be horrible. After I woke up from my nap(s), I watched tv and ordered Chinese food which wasn't good. I thought about just eating a frozen meal (thats all I have in my apartment) but got worried that it wasn't going to be enough food and that I would feel hungry all night (the worst feeling). So, I ate a lot, feel guilty about it, and feel kinda lonely now because I have been in my apartment alone since 1 pm today. I guess I did this all to myself though.
Tomorrow, I will make my breakfast and lunch again and get back with the program, make plans, and not sit around. That is so hard sometimes.
Unfortunately I am just a lazy person. I have always been this way. I would much rather watch TV and read a book than go out sometimes. I love sleeping and naps. A lot of my lack of energy probably has to do with my weight, right?I would like to begin starting to work out (again) but I hate it. I just really do. Every time I try to make a workout routine, I stick with it for a few days and then quit because I hate it. I also hate that I do it ONLY for weight purposes and not for health at all. I just can't go to the gym and not think about my body image and weight. It just never feels like a positive experience... the skinny people, the big mirrors, the jiggling fat...
I thought about working out tonight actually, but then I thought about how much I ate for dinner. Instead of thinking "I can go work this off," I thought "whatever...I've ruined the night anyway." I kept thinking that there was no point in working out if I had already eaten badly. There I go with my black-or-white thinking again.
So, my question for you is HOW CAN I GET MYSELF TO WORK OUT AND STOP BEING LAZY? Do you work out in the morning or evening? How do you get yourself there? What type of workout do you do? How do you fit it in your work schedule? HELP! I need major advice.
Coming from a person who loves chilling out, reading, watching movies but has learnt that exercise has to be part of my life; all I can say is you have to find what works for you. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing or thinking; they are far too focused on themselves and their own workout to be watching you!
ReplyDeleteGreat that you are positive about tomorrow, that really shows how far you have come!
I fight with my therapist every single session over exercise.. I just cannot be bothered and would rather sit in my room and sulk that weight does not drop off...
ReplyDeletebut in the end i realized that I'm not going to achieve my goals if i don't exercise... So i'm not going to get my health and weight on track without it so i have no choice in the matter. Though it still takes A LOT to get me to go...
i get worried about what people will think about me, what i look like, what if someone i know sees me... but in the end its benefiting you so you just have to do it.
when other people are exercising they are honestly not paying attention to you, they are thinking about themselves - i guess thats a bonus of living in a world of self obsessed people.
I walk. I try and make it interesting by going to scenic places like bridges, beaches, parks so it makes it a bit of an adventure rather that just walking the streets or walking in a circle...
but like the comment above you just have to find what works for you.
None of us want to do something that we're not good at or is unfamiliar territory. you just have to think of it like school in a way. There were lots of things you probably were not great at off the bat but when you applied yourself and learned you were. Exercise is no different. Find something that excites you enough to learn about it and invest yourself in it. Friends of mine belong to kickball and dodgeball leagues. They have made friends on their teams, we get together to go watch them and none of us think of it as exercise. Once you start getting more activity,movement and exercise in your life it just sort of takes on a life of it's own. You get into pushing yourself. It's not about weight. When I first started exercising I also LOVED my wii fit. It helped me lose the initial 30 pounds that helped me feel a lot more confident at the gym. There's also a lot to be said for getting work out gear that you feel comfortable and confident in. I really like gapbody it makes me look super smooth and fit, and not at all jiggly.
ReplyDeleteHey! I too struggle with bingeing/eating issues, and would love a virtual penpal to share with. If you're interested, shoot me a quick email at sbillian24@gmail.com. Bingeing is never fun, and I think giving mutual support might help.
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