Ok. So here is a recap of my super duper exciting New Year's Eve.
I got my hair done just to make myself feel better. The hair lady was new and curled it badly and it fell RIGHT when I got home. I started freaking out because my hair just looked straight and dirty from all of the hair spray she put in. In the end, I just pinned it half up. Sucked though. What a waste.
I went to dinner and it was fine. It was two couples, me, and another single girlfriend. Dinner was so yummy and I ate A LOT. I hope I didn't look like a beast or something. I always worry about what I look like eating to other people because when I eat I really get in a "zone." Anyway, it was fine and all was ok. I took a picture with everyone and then saw it on the camera and it made me feel bad about myself. I tried to push it to the back of my mind.
After dinner, we were supposed to go to a house party that I have been anxious about. After feeling bad about the way I looked, I was doubting going. I really could have gone either way. The old me would have gone home and felt bad about myself. I pushed myself to go to the house party (because I am trying to be positive) and I am glad I did.
At first, the party was awkward. For a moment I actually felt really alone and teared up a little. I got myself together (nobody saw), talked to people, and had an okay time. Everyone was nice (even though I am not BFF with them) and one of my friends even said she might have someone to set me up with! She brought it up! So yay. I hope that works out. I left with another good friend and her husband soon after midnight. They dropped me off at my apartment and here I am.
So, here are some lessons I learned tonight:
1. I need to keep pushing myself to do social things.
2. 2011 WILL be better than 2010 (it can't get much worse)
3. I need to cut all of the anxious shit and HAVE FUN LIVING MY LIFE
4. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer. Even my good friends. They don't want to hear me complain.
5. Wearing flat shoes is definitely the way to go.
Tomorrow is 1.1.11! Have a good one!