Thursday, April 29, 2010

Good Days are Ahead

I actually haven't written in a few days because I have been feeling a lot better- who would have thought!

Tonight I went to a young adults meeting at my place of worship and had a great time. There were a lot if other young adults my age there and everyone seemed excited to get involved. I am excited because this might be something for me to get involved in. It would be a nice way to pass the time and also meet people.

Anyway, my eating has been ok. I am still eating those premade fresh meals and they are really good (much better than my fit foods). I haven't been doing perfect but probably still better than binging.

Today i had the premade meals for bfast and lunch. After lunch I was still hungry so I had a big, wonderful peanut butter and nutella sandwich. I know I shouldn't have eaten it but nutella is my weakness and it was in the office calling my name! For dinner I just had french onion soup. Right now I am starving but it's 2 am and I can't sleep, so I am trying not to eat.

I feel like I am eating better though which makes me excited. On a bad day I would eat horribly at every meal and then also binge.

One month till I am a bridesmaid. I am getting really anxious about standing up infront of a crowd, being so social, having pictures tagged of me on facebook... I don't want everyone in the world to think "wow what happened to her."

I finally talked to A about those texts from my last post. She was actually really nice and supportive and even said that if I didn't want to be a bridesmaid (because I am dealing with so much right now) that she would understand. Ofcourse the negative part of me thinks that maybe she is embarrassed to have me stand next to her on stage on the biggest day of her life. Oh well- I am trying to push that thought to the back of my head.

Yay for two full days of NO TEARS and semi- good eating!!!

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