Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sundays are not Fun Days

Yesterday was bad. It was the first time I had been to my apartment in a week. I spent all day laying around and watching The Hills. I binged at dinner time and ordered two cheese ravioli meals from this Italian restaurant by my apartment and extra breadsticks. I do that meal as a binge often. I then felt bad about it and went to my parents house. They were still out to dinner, and I binged even more and ate about 10 of the peanut butter cookies I baked on Friday while I waited for them to get home. I felt really lonely because I didn't talk to anyone all day. I slept there and felt horribly full. Awesome.

Today, I tried to start the day out right. I had a maid come clean my apartment, went to this diet place that cooks fresh packaged meals to try out some of them at the beginning of this week, got a manicure/pedicure, and then got a 30 min massage. I felt really good, like I was finally up and moving.

For breakfast, I had a Yoplait Light Yogurt (110 calories) and then at lunch I ate one of the meals that I bought and it was actually good (320 calories). After, I wanted something sweet so I had a jello pudding (60 calories). I also weighed myself this afternoon and I am at 203 lbs.

I haven't dieted like this in months. I have been rebelling to my life of dieting by eating everything in sight.

Anyway, I got home this afternoon and really tried to make some plans for tonight (like a movie) so I wouldnt be all alone. Nobody accepted.

L said she was trying to save money until her next paycheck..
S and LL were going to family dinners
J was also going to a family dinner because her sister is about to leave town.

Then, I got a few texts from A (a college friend who lives in another city) that made me really upset.

Last Tuesday
Me: Hey. Not having a good day/week. Let me try to call you tomorrow.
A: Ok... I am here for you
Me: Hey. I haven't gone to work all week and had a bad reaction to a medication which is why I haven't called you back. I'll call you this weekend.
(no response)
Me: Very cute rehearsal dinner and bridesmaid's lunch invitations!
(no response)
Sunday (today)
Me: Have you been getting my texts?
A: Got yours about not feeling well and calling me on fri, that didn't happen.
Me: Huh? Sorry, I have been really sick since last Saturday. Today was the first time I even left the house.
A: I am glad you are feeling better. Whats up?
Me: I said I would call you this weekend.. and haven't felt good enough to get ou. of bed until today. Just saying hi.
(no response)

So basically, this made me really annoyed. I am supposed to be A's good friend and she has NOT been there for me at all through any of this. I am tired of this, especially because I was there for her so much in college. I know she has big things going on in her life, but when I needed a friend she wasn't there...
I know that this was all through text, but I just really don't want to call her. She needs to call me. Am i stubborn?

Now, it is 4:52 pm and I am starving, but don't want to eat until dinner. My friends don't want to hang out with me tonight, I don't feel like calling any long-distance friends and telling them about how miserable my life has been, my parents are probably sick of me, and I have nothing to do. I guess I will go watch more TV and try to NOT EAT! Sundays are the worst!


  1. Have you looked through "Dignity of Choice?" It's a pamphlet in OA. They have good food plans in there that are not diets but will still help you lose weight. It may not be as fast as a diet would do, but they keep you full and help you lose in a healthy way. Diets seldom work because it's a lifestyle change that needs to happen and most diets don't accommodate that. I know different things work for different people; I'm just throwing some ideas around. Sorry you've had such a bad week -- just remember one day at a time and this too shall pass. :-)

  2. You should call your friend! Hang in there, darlin :)

  3. Hi! Keep fighting the good fight - you are worth it :)

    I'm taking a poll and would be interested in your feedback: Is internet addiction real?

    Also, I recently started my anonymous blog and would like to know if I can add you to my blogroll, here: