Getting dressed for work every morning is disheartening. So, I ordered some clothes online, received then, and nothing fit. Now I feel panicked to loose weight. I am already 25 and have wasted most of my 20s being miserable in my body. I don't have much more time to waste if I want to get married and be a young mom. Crazy thought, I know, but nobody wants to date a fat girl and I am a fat girl who can't find cute clothes or a date. So, I always ruminate that nobody will ever love me because of my weight. And that's probably going to be true if I don't learn to love myself. So, instead of bingeing about how anxious and upset this makes me, I am writing in this blog. I guess that's a little victory because it's been a hard week.
This morning I ate a lot. Basically two breakfasts. One on the way to work and one at work. I was stressed and felt yucky. At lunch I had tree pieces of pizza. Dinner was fine, but i still feel like a huge ass pig. This is not atypical. The breakfast fiasco I mean. I know I am not supposed to diet and to eat intuitively, but I am on the other end of the spectrum sometimes. Sometimes I think I am back to where I was before treatment (except in a lot more debt).
I am dreading the weekend. I hate food on the weekends. It is never good.
Any advice for a size 18+ confused 25 year old?