I feel sad. I'm not really sure why or what brought this on. I also feel like I never post anything on this blog when I'm happy so you readers must think I'm a party pooper. The fact that you didn't hear from me for a few days is a good sign in fact.
Anyway. I just wanted to say it and put it out there so maybe i feel better. I'm sad at this very moment. I binged tonight. I am dreading work tomorrow. :( that is all.
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Hey you :-)
ReplyDeleteFirst of, thanks for becoming my first follower !! Yaaaayyyy !!!
Having had those dark moments here and there, I understand why you only post when you're sad. The thing is, at this point in your life, negative thoughts are the ones that drive you, that give you energy/fire and inspire you to write (or paint/draw or eat, whatever it might be for someone else).
All of us feed off of something and are motivated by that thing. Right now for you, it's the negativity, that dark cloud that has been hovering over your head.
That's what needs to change (among other things). You have to find inspiration elsewhere or that cloud will NEVER leave you. (How can it when you're the one allowing it to be there ?) This isn't a change that just happens; it's a DECISION you have to make. I know you're already thinking "It's not that easy !" or "You don't understand !" You're right: it is NOT easy but I do understand. Take it slow, but take it.
For instance, you can decide that from now on, you WILL write a post when you're happy... even if at that happy moment you have no motivation to do so (after all, the negative motivates you to write, not the positive). Write and tell us how happy you are and what has brought out that joy. It's ok to be happy.
I believe from experience that we teach ourselves to live/feel/act a certain way. You have taught yourself for a long time to live in sadness. You have TRAINED your brain to feed off of negative thoughts. Now it's time to TRAIN it to feed off of the positive. This will have to be done step by step, or like I told you in a previous comment, take it a day at a time. Literally.
When you go to work tomorrow, instead of focusing on your looks or the binge from the previous night, be thankful to God that you have a job, think of one (I'm sure there's ONE) reason why it is a good job (free pens perhaps? *lol*) and run with those thoughts throughout the day. Your life is beautiful. You are a beautiful human being. You just need to change those dirty glasses honey cuz they mess your world vision up !
It won't be easy and this won't happen overnight. That's why I call it TRAINING. Just like the body must be trained with REGULAR exercise to be/stay fit, so does the brain.
I'll stop here.
Life is meant to be lived; let's LIVE it. :)
May the sun shine upon your week.
~kisses
I'm sorry you're having one of those times, I get them too, I just try and find a way to combat it, sometimes I just wallow in it, I just try not to swallow it :-) this doesn't always work.
ReplyDeleteCan't recommend strongly enough that you have a look at a book called the happiness trap, it's really helped me with all the self-negating I used to do, and still do to a certain extent.
Just remember it's ok to be sad, just have to work out how to pull your way out of it, it's really hard work too!
you know, that is when most people blog. you can reach out to us, we know you, and know you are not always complaining or sad. we are here to help!
ReplyDeletexo