Tonight I spent some time cleaning out my closet. I started a while back but didn't get very far.
Step 1: A few weeks ago I got rid of all of the size 6 - 10 clothing stored at my parents house from my skinny days. It had been sitting in boxes for the past 2 or 3 years. It was time. I tried to sell some of it and I brought the stuff that didn't sell to goodwill.
Step 2: Tonight, I began packing up the 10's and 12's that are in my closet to go into storage in my parents house (where the previous skinny clothes were stored). I am keeping size 14, 16, and 18 in my closet in my new apartment (I move in 3 weeks). Hopefully, one day, I can get back to "normal" sizes. Being plus sized SUCKS.
Clearly this process is ridiculous and shows how much my life has changed in the past 5 years. I have wasted thousands and thousands of dollars on clothes. CRAZY. While looking through the clothes, I realized that at this time last year, I was a 14 (which absolutely killed me then). At that time I thought my life was over. Little did I know that a year later I would be 1-2 sizes bigger.
I just hope I don't gain even MORE weight, and I know I am not doing the things I need to do to get better. Sometimes I am good (I did a lot of cleaning tonight, had a good day, I didn't cry, etc...), but I ate badly today and ofcourse now I feel like shit.
Breakfast: Two potato, egg, and cheese kolaches (350 calories EACH) and a diet coke
Lunch: Cheeseburger, fries, and diet coke; two mini snickers candies out of my coworkers candy jar
Dinner: 1 can of progresso soup, falafel sandwich, some pita chips, 3 bites of egg salad
Ugh. I'm a pig. GROSS.
Anyway, enough about the bad and onto the good.
I am having dinner tomorrow with my mom and grandma because my dad is going out of town. Then, on Saturday, I am going to a holiday market with my mom and I am excited to get some good Christmas shopping in. I have plans to go to dinner with my roommate on Saturday night. Other than that, the weekend is pretty open. I emailed my friends a few days ago to be proactive and "social," but every single friend had plans or is going to be out of town this weekend. Oh well. At least I tried.
I was supposed to do a volunteer thing in my community but I backed out. I feel bad, but I know I need to take care of myself, go to my therapy group, start exercising, eat right, etc... I need to put MYSELF first. So, I think it was a smart decision.
Enough rambling for the night.
Happy ALMOST Friday!