Soon, they are going to fire me. Today I took another sick day.
I went to the dietition at 8am in a horrible mood. I left the house in a sweater in almost 100 degrees. I felt miserable. Through the whole appointment I was thinking about what I could binge on after.
So, I left the appointment, emailed the CEO and said I was sick (still no replacement for my boss) and went to kroger. I bought chocolate chip cookies, chips and queso, a lunchables pizza kit, reeses pb cups, and gold fish. Then, I went home and ate as much a I could and then fell asleep. I woke up and did the same thing again and then again. For dinner I ordered enough Chinese food for two people and ate every bite. I think today was my biggest binge(s) ever.
I feel horrible. My stomach feels huge and I have a lump in my throat. I feel tearful and anxious right now. I hate everything about myself. Why did I do this?
How am I going to go to work tomorrow? I wish I could take more time off but I have already taken over 10 sick days this year..
I don't want to live like this anymore. How do you know when you are ready for a residential program?