Tonight I binged. I ordered three separate meals from an Italian restaurant and extra breadsticks. I ate all three meals and then was surprise that I didn't feel as full as I usually do when I binge. It seems I am getting fatter and fatter and it takes more and more for me to feel that stuffed feeling.
After the binge, I sat there feeling horrible for an hour. After that, I went into my bathroom and tried to purge but nothing would come out. I am not good at making myself throw up. So, I quit. Who cares. I am fat and ugly anyway... The food might as well stay.
Now, I feel defeated because I couldn't do it but I figured maybe the food already digested?
Don't get my wrong, I am not a purger normally but I thought it would make me feel better. Now, after my failed attempt, I am exausted and kinda mad at my body. What did I do wrong?
Well, so much for going to a recovery meeting tonigtht... I feel like I'm in for another bad weekend...